| a question for the ages... |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|04:28 pm] |
| [ | +dAnDeLiOn*WiNe+ |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
have my fluids stopped flowing?
(last night's rolling-off-my-ass, trying to pee pondering) |
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| omg new kitteh! |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|03:26 pm] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | bop it extreme | ] |
he's an 11 week old russian blue originally named elvis, then melon, an for the time being, misha.... but i haven't decided for sure... he's super playful and curious and omg so cute :) |
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| bed head :) |
[May. 27th, 2008|03:25 pm] |
| [ | +dAnDeLiOn*WiNe+ |
| |  suhweet | ] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | lacuna coil | ] |
there's something really relaxing about having my life to myself. this is how it should be :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|09:09 pm] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | beautiful girl- poe | ] |
A Dream Within A Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Edgar Allan Poe
Typical case of dissociation, really. I watch myself go through life, screwing myself over, saying and doing things I know I shouldn't, even while I'm doing them. Why do I continue to make myself my own worst enemy?
...And I try so hard to change, to be responsible, but I'm not even convincing myself that I'm making an effort, I assume others just see right through me, too. This transition has brought on some pretty weighty inertia, and now there's a hole in my life... hours with nothing to do because I don't want to see him. But I do. But I know I'll wish I hadn't. Last night was awkward, superficially fun, but so unreal. So with all this time, I find myself becoming irritating to myself, and if I'm managing to bother myself, how bad does it seem to my friends, the people on the outside? I must be insufferable. This makes me feel so not fun to be around, I feel like a liability these days...
And when someone else is a liability to me, I tend to dump them pretty fast. I'm really not down with the position I'm in. I'm so lazy, and I know it, but it's comfortable, and sleep passes the time. I need to cut back down on smoking, I'm going to try this week. It's gonna be hard, though, money is coming in from work and soon for my birthday, and all I really want is herb and a new bong. But I really should save for an apartment and a car. Ugh. Long-term thinking... I'm doing it wrong.
Anyway, I'm going to this blogging meetup on the 25th, so I'm going to try to update somewhat frequently...
"Your eyes are mockingbirds inside a guilded cage
Your life's a silent movie that I haven't heard for ages
Tell me everything, someone's gotta hear this" |
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| = awesome. |
[Feb. 3rd, 2008|10:09 pm] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | kate bush- phenomena | ] |
in other news, i'm moving back to san diego for good on friday. my new roommate ratted me out to the area coordinator and i lost housing. it would be crazy to commute to school here. there isn't anything but the school here. anyway, wheaton isn't for me, so i'm leaving, and i'm glad.
plans for sd:
1. job
2. apartment with derek
3. kitten
4. puppy
5. art classes
6. vet tech degree
7. ???
8. PROFIT!!
oh, and plenty of dirty hippie sex in between. yes please. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2007|12:37 am] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | run (snow patrol)- leona lewis | ] |
finally. this has truly been the worst week of my life.
photo courtesy of DAR |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|11:02 pm] |
| [ | +dAnDeLiOn*WiNe+ |
| | nenaninnynananaa | ] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | satin chic- goldfrapp | ] |
lulz. aparently i am not one of those people with my name.
also this kid:
By lovemademedrunk at 2007-10-14
yeah he's my man. looking like a chipmunk and half his age. love. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2007|06:26 pm] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | the golden years | ] |
= SEX |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2007|08:23 pm] |
| [ | +dAnDeLiOn*WiNe+ |
| |  whoa | ] |
| [ | cOnSoLaTiOn pRiZe |
| | toy dolls | ] |
i smoke 3 joints in the morning... |
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